I might get a new phone. Helio was bought by virgin mobile and now vm is being bought by sprint. hopefully everything works out and i'll be able to get a new number and phone with a full keyboard.
I get both inspired and discouraged by facebook! it's nice to connect with friends i hardly talk to. it's like we're friends online and i am apart of whatever they may share but it's also difficult to be reminded of the distance in both miles and absence of knowledge. when i see pictures of friends getting together, i can't help but feel sad. i want that! i want to hang out and post pictures of what a great time i had. but when i think about it, do i really want all the baggage and battles that comes with the friendship? do i really want to invest my time, love, heart and strength in something that might end or fade away?
i should blame myself for the lack of friends that i talk to because i only call other people for advice and not really care about what they are going through.
i need to prioritize my goals and i need to find out what is important to me. it would be nice to receive a phonecall once in a while instead of a text message.
found out how refreshing it is to just talk to God without hiding who i am or what i am dealing with. meaning, talking to him about my hurts and angry thoughts. my relationship with God gets more real and i don't have anything to hide. He knows everything that i did and He still loves me. and because He loved me first, i want to love him back through a life of repetance.

There is only two more days left of this quarter. Really excited for spring break but at the same time, i am worried about my english research essay. this quarter has been the most stressful because of the amount of research that you have to put in and balancing that with other homework assignments and classes. now that there's only five more days till it is due, i am can't help but regret the time i've spend worrying and wasting time when i could have done more research. even now, i am slacking so much. the fear of failure after all the stress, time, and tears it took for me to get this far, is what i want to avoid. God is so faithful and mercifull. i now appreciate the free time that i have in really making the most out of it. instead of sleeping in, i'll read a book, or go out on a walk and smell the fresh air. can't wait for this quarter to be over. but i want this paper done so i can stop worrying about it and truly say that i tried my best.

what worries me is that i might unintentionally plagiarize. it's difficult to trace your ideas back to its source. and to be confident that your idea is original and not from another person.

i am sure that when i look back at this post, i will be a better, stronger, and more grateful person that i am now. my faith makes the challenges much more smaller than they seem.

At school, I got into a deep conversation about religion and christianity with an acquaintance. Somehow a group of us started talking about marriage and then religion and Jesus. He had so many questions. It was truly amazing to hear some of the questions that I once wrestled with before my walk with Christ. I knew that I had to be very careful about what I said. When gay marriage came out of the box, I didn't know what to say. I knew that I had to say the truth, but at the same time, i didn't want my response to hinder his curiosity further into Christianity. I felt like I answered most of his questions to the best of my understanding and ability. However, he convicted me to research and get the answers myself, instead of hearing it from pastors. College, which for me, was just a place for work and study, became a place of opportunity. My heart breaks when I hear or see things that goes against Jesus' teachings. It is overwhelming when I am hit with the responsibility to share God's love and to share the gospel. I can't do it on my own. I battle with my own sins, sometimes surrendering to them and hindering my walk w. Christ. So my prayer is that I will be able to put to death my sins, be filled and guided by the Holy Spirit and grow and mature in the gospel. Not depending on my own prideful strength but to constantly talk to God through prayer.
Today was a great day. For the first time, I understand the reason for my past hurts and trails. It was to empathize and understand where a non believer is coming from. To able to relate and to offer advice.