strawberry swing- coldplay

New Year Resolutions:

1) Read the chapter of the bible each day.

2) Exercise

3) Blog everyday, or once a week/month (reflecting on lessons learned, challenges ahead).

4) Read a book, discontinue to watch t.v

5) serve in my community

I might get a new phone. Helio was bought by virgin mobile and now vm is being bought by sprint. hopefully everything works out and i'll be able to get a new number and phone with a full keyboard.
I get both inspired and discouraged by facebook! it's nice to connect with friends i hardly talk to. it's like we're friends online and i am apart of whatever they may share but it's also difficult to be reminded of the distance in both miles and absence of knowledge. when i see pictures of friends getting together, i can't help but feel sad. i want that! i want to hang out and post pictures of what a great time i had. but when i think about it, do i really want all the baggage and battles that comes with the friendship? do i really want to invest my time, love, heart and strength in something that might end or fade away?
i should blame myself for the lack of friends that i talk to because i only call other people for advice and not really care about what they are going through.
i need to prioritize my goals and i need to find out what is important to me. it would be nice to receive a phonecall once in a while instead of a text message.
found out how refreshing it is to just talk to God without hiding who i am or what i am dealing with. meaning, talking to him about my hurts and angry thoughts. my relationship with God gets more real and i don't have anything to hide. He knows everything that i did and He still loves me. and because He loved me first, i want to love him back through a life of repetance.

There is only two more days left of this quarter. Really excited for spring break but at the same time, i am worried about my english research essay. this quarter has been the most stressful because of the amount of research that you have to put in and balancing that with other homework assignments and classes. now that there's only five more days till it is due, i am can't help but regret the time i've spend worrying and wasting time when i could have done more research. even now, i am slacking so much. the fear of failure after all the stress, time, and tears it took for me to get this far, is what i want to avoid. God is so faithful and mercifull. i now appreciate the free time that i have in really making the most out of it. instead of sleeping in, i'll read a book, or go out on a walk and smell the fresh air. can't wait for this quarter to be over. but i want this paper done so i can stop worrying about it and truly say that i tried my best.

what worries me is that i might unintentionally plagiarize. it's difficult to trace your ideas back to its source. and to be confident that your idea is original and not from another person.

i am sure that when i look back at this post, i will be a better, stronger, and more grateful person that i am now. my faith makes the challenges much more smaller than they seem.

At school, I got into a deep conversation about religion and christianity with an acquaintance. Somehow a group of us started talking about marriage and then religion and Jesus. He had so many questions. It was truly amazing to hear some of the questions that I once wrestled with before my walk with Christ. I knew that I had to be very careful about what I said. When gay marriage came out of the box, I didn't know what to say. I knew that I had to say the truth, but at the same time, i didn't want my response to hinder his curiosity further into Christianity. I felt like I answered most of his questions to the best of my understanding and ability. However, he convicted me to research and get the answers myself, instead of hearing it from pastors. College, which for me, was just a place for work and study, became a place of opportunity. My heart breaks when I hear or see things that goes against Jesus' teachings. It is overwhelming when I am hit with the responsibility to share God's love and to share the gospel. I can't do it on my own. I battle with my own sins, sometimes surrendering to them and hindering my walk w. Christ. So my prayer is that I will be able to put to death my sins, be filled and guided by the Holy Spirit and grow and mature in the gospel. Not depending on my own prideful strength but to constantly talk to God through prayer.
Today was a great day. For the first time, I understand the reason for my past hurts and trails. It was to empathize and understand where a non believer is coming from. To able to relate and to offer advice.

God has been convicting me with the areas in my life that I need to change.
I want to be committed to God and accepting of his plans for me. Sometimes I have to remind myself that life is short. This is it. I get angry at myself for wasting time watching television shows and spending money on clothes when i could have read the bible or spent it on charity or a coffee for a friend. but God does not condemn, He is mighty to save. Change doesn't come over night, it takes time. I don't give thanks to God as much as i should, actually, i don't at all. I mean, i pray before i eat, sometimes, and that's it. Not when i get home safely or when i have a great day at school. Those things seem so ritualistic, so normal that giving thanks doesn't come to my mind. It is the small things that count, the things that we don't realize until it passes that we take for granted.

Kutless- It is Well album on repeat

On saturday, I came home from the library and cleaned the apartment. I had to throw away the garbage but I decided to wait because I had to pick up my mom later on. A little while later, my neighbor had to go to the hospital because the stairs collapsed as he was walking down. The constructers tore down what was left of the stairs and are rebuilding. I have never been so thankful for the sound of banging. I am so blessed by the Grace of God.
When i fall, HE lifts me up and when i feel ashamed and guilty, HE carries me.

First day of school

First day of school

School was great. Met old friends, teachers are interesting, many opportunities await.
However, a feeling of despair came over me. I felt overwhelmed and alone. I guess I am afraid that I will repeat the same mistakes twice.

I missed my mom when I got home. I needed someone to talk to, someone to tell me that it will all turn out alright as long as I try my best. But I knew that she wouldn't come home until later in the night.
So I was doing homework when I heard the keys jingle and behold, it was my mom. I was suprised because rarely does she come home this early. God is great. His Grace is sufficient and everlasting.

What keeps me going is the fact that the challenges that I face is all for the glory of God. The struggles will all pass and be done with. I have to remember to enjoy the present because one day it will become the memories I cherish in the future.

Reflection

I have faith that God has a bigger plan for me.
Too many things just fall right into place and work out for the better.
I am a person who has made too many mistakes but by the grace of God and Jesus' love, i am made new.
Overflowing,Everlasting, always and forever kind of love.

"I never could be good enough to measure up.But You want to take me as I come. You're the only one that can take me as I am." Take me as I am- Nicole Nordeman

Another week passes and i could not have made it through without GOD. He truly is amazing and fills my heart's cup with an overflowing everlasting always and forever kind of love.

I've been so depressed with my past and couldn't let it go. But I learned that God does not condemn but convicts. A loving father, once a child asks for forgiveness, wouldn't beat that child everyday for something he or she did a long time ago. I'm so thankful and i am humbled by his full acceptance in who i was and am and will be.

you are loved,

nuri.

Breaking bad habits

Breaking bad habits

For the New Year, I want to break habits of procrastination, laziness, over eating and internet use.

Today was disappointing because I did not wake up for church. It was the first sermon of the year and I missed it. I always do something I regret and have alot of trouble getting past it. One thing I've learned is that, to have a good past you have to enjoy the present and look foward to the future. All this time, I've wasted so much time on regret when I can make the most of the present.

Procastination does more harm than good. Actually, it does no good. If I wait and tell myself that I will do it later, I keep telling myself that, until the time comes when whatever I have to do is due and it's too late. I'm overwhelmed with work and I get discouraged and unmotivated.
The best thing to do is to plan out your schedule, complete all of your tasks and have a proper sleep pattern.
I've also been struggling with sleep. When I have to study, I get really tired. I take "naps" and end up feeling more tired and drowsy. Plus, I have to make up for it by staying up later in the night.